I am writing this from a desk on the third floor of Google’s London HQ, listening to Steven Price and Basement Jaxx’s original music for Attack the Block. Here’s a little Friday update for you.

This last couple of weeks I’ve been tossing and turning at night about what to do, when to do what. Is what I’m making good enough? Am I pushing myself or just getting into a routine?

I use a site called 750words occasionally to dump my thoughts in the morning, like a diary. Here are some recent excerpts:

… is the Patreon model actually appealing to me in a more creative way? I’d like to think that it is. But at the same time I have to admit that a small part of it is ego. I make things that thousands of people really enjoy watching, but that I can’t seem to make any real money from. As a film maker I feel like I’m stagnating because without capital, it seems like I can’t move forward with my career*.

*I know that’s silly, but it does feel like that a lot of the time. If I can’t afford to travel somewhere, or can’t afford to buy a prop or hire a person, then my video suffers. I suffer also, because instead of concerning myself with purely creative decisions, I am worried about the dollar dollar.

See also:

I feel like I’m wallowing in a middle-ground.

How do I fix this?

Ideas. I need to think outside the box? I need to think without limitations.

But this is all just talk. I do have ideas. I’m working on a video called ‘Vlogger’, which will let me experiment with light and storytelling in a way I haven’t done since Routine. I have other ideas in the pipeline, too. And plenty of opportunities!

If you followed PBFB, you know this ‘lack of direction’ issue is a recurring theme. Don’t worry too much about it…

IN OTHER NEWS

Recently Liam and I decided to quit our channel, NewMusic. We love music and sharing our recommendations, but the audience wasn’t there. We’re both busy people nowadays, and we realised we couldn’t spare the time NewMusic needed to grow. Thank you to everyone who did watch the channel! Keep reading…

Sadly, what made the format unique (the podcast-style playlist) also made it a hard sell, and no-one was really interested. In just a couple of months, TALK reached over 10,000 subscribers. In almost 2 years, NewMusic reached only 7,000, with guest curation and endorsement not helping to retain viewers.

However, I am determined to share curated mini-playlists with you on a regular basis! Enter the NewMusic Blog, where you can browse our weekly recommendations in your own time. As the site grows, each page will deliver you three songs and the links to listen and/or buy them.

I know it doesn’t have our lovely faces, but you can still see and hear us on bingradio or worldoftheorange…

If you’re as passionate about music as I am, make sure you bookmark that site, or subscribe to the RSS feed (if you kids even do that anymore), and check back every week!

I am writing this from the couch in my bedroom, listening to Ignoto (by Yourcodenameis:Milo), one of my favourite albums of all time. I’ve decided it would be a nice idea to try to write a little update every week, so let’s give it a go.

Two weeks ago I travelled 269 miles to the North Yorkshire coast with a few friends to relax and chat about ideas somewhere different. It was lovely (apart from the food poisoning). Among the many things accomplished, I threw out almost the entire script for HIDY episode 4, and wrote a preliminary script for The Bothering 2. Shh! Keep it a secret…

Then it was time for the Lincoln Gathering, organised by Elliot & Dean in the town where I learned most of what I know. It’s always interesting going back (although I think I would rather have been home in bed), and the event was brilliant. Thanks to everyone who said hi, and everyone involved in the gig!

I’m back in London for the time being and I have a lot of more boring work to do. I’m really behind, yet again (I’m very sorry), on merchandise orders. I also have some consulting work on the table this month. I’m feeling calm, but perhaps spread a little thin.

This morning I watched Jack Conte’s incredible music video, but found his epilogue even more interesting. He and his team have built a ‘Kickstarter for regular content creators’, which I think is an amazing idea. I’ve always been dubious of the Kickstarter/IndieGoGo/Sponsume model because of the hugeness of it all. (I don’t want to be indebted to so many for so much, and I don’t like how readily it can be abused with enough social influence). BUT, this is cool.

If you want to find out more, watch Jack’s profile video. If you, like me, think it’s an amazing way to fund bigger and better videos, consider becoming one of my ‘patrons’.

I’m going to go back to tidying my room, which I rearranged yesterday with a lot of help from Mandy. THANKS MANDY.